Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Kennedy's Tumor

So our second eldest statesman, the forty year veteran from Massachusetts, has an 8cm long malignant brain tumor.

I feel for the man, I really do. I am infuriated that the mainstream media are talking this up as the final cap on the Kennedy curse. For fuck's sake, the man is 76 years old and has been in the Senate for four decades, and on top of that, he killed a woman (should have bought a Volkswagen, Ted).

Kennedy or not, he's old, he should have retired years ago, and it's got to say something when the only person in the Senate who's been around longer than you has completely lost his mind.

Senator Robert Byrd was quoted as saying "Ted, Ted, my dear friend, I love you and miss you." Hold on Bob, he's not dead yet, and he, unlike you, still has a functioning rational mind, albeit one racked with an enormous tumor.

Now I can't truly claim to to really understand the pathos our nation is undergoing at the loss of another Kennedy, because I don't really get how a string of unfortunate events happening to people in high profile positions can be considered a curse...I also don't really believe in voodoo, but what I do know, is that if I had a brain tumor, I'd prefer to know that it was caused by the high tension wires going over my house, or the high level of carcinogens that can be attributed to the line of work I perform rather than bad fucking luck or my last name.

And by the way. From now on, since my name is Alex, I want you all to start calling me Jim.

He's not dead yet, I can still talk shit.