Thursday, September 4, 2008

Palinocracy

A scene by Alex:

CURTAIN RISES on a happy home's happy family room.  Well appointed couches adorned with animal furs are being arranged by SARAH PALIN.  She's clad in a red white and blue bikini with a thirty-ought-six strapped around her back.  She's humming Hail to the Chief almost inaudibly.

ENTER BRISTOL PALIN from STAGE RIGHT, a fresh looking young lady, dressed in high fashion for a high school girl.

BRISTOL is noticeably hesitant and takes a few pauses and false starts at her mothers turned back before blurting...

BRISTOL: Mom, I think we need to have a talk.

SARAH startled: Oh, Bristol, honey, your frightened me. Sure, what is it?

BRISTOL sits down on a couch adorned by a bear's skin and head. The skin retains the bite marks left by her mother when she ruthlessly mauled the bear as it riffled through the family trash a year ago. She fold her hands in her lap and takes a deep breath.

SARAH notices the hesitation and sits down, a look of confusion wiggles it's way across her flawless face.  She's got hot legs too...

BRISTOL:  Mom...geez this is hard...well Mom, I know that you're a big proponent for abstinence only sex-ed. 

SARAH looks more confused, and hot 

BRISTOL: I know it's the only moral issue you didn't abandon in your meteoric rise to political stardom...in Alaska...in order to appear more moderate and appeal to independent and Democratic voters.  And it means a lot to me too.  I think it's great.  I mean, that's how Christ would have wanted us to be...blissfully unaware of our bodies, our desires and our physiological prerogative to procreate...

SARAH shifts her weight, and unburdens her back of the 30-0-6 and lays in in her lap idly fingering the safety switch.

BRISTOL quickening: I know that you have a moral resume a mile long but you've been able to gain much political acclaim by simply not being the incumbent, and that you hope that that same sentiment will carry on to the national stage so that you can use your noncommittal style to balance out John McCain's ever sharpening Rove-Bot status... [pauses, takes a deep breath and continues] ...I think I might be digressing...

BRISTOL becomes noticeably more nervous and eeks out one final sentence to her mother...

BRISTOL: Well Mom, I am pregnant...

BRISTOL squints awaiting a hail of high powered lead redemption but none comes.

TIGHT SPOT LIGHT on SARAH PALIN She slowly stands, rifle at her side, bikini in full glory. She takes a few methodical steps towards the audience as BRISTOL stands into another TIGHT SPOT LIGHT and takes a few cautious steps toward her mother.  SARAH shoots a devastating stare toward her approaching daughter as the back light fades.

SARAH: et tu, Brute?

LOWER CURTAIN

END SCENE